Downward Mobility

Just came back from visiting my cousins in Baltimore. Much of the day was spent lying around watching HBO crime series and anime on a gigantic TV. I ate some left-over Popeye’s chicken for breakfast and fell asleep on the couch.

My cousin was in jail for a little over a month this past spring due to visa issues, and now she and her children are waiting for their hearing which will decide if they’ll be deported back to the Philippines. They definitely don’t want to go back but they don’t seem to be bugging out about their pending futures.

I still haven’t heard back from the one contact we have in the Philippines which means I still don’t have a placement there. I’m trying not to get too anxious but it is a little unsettling.

The irony in any case is blaring. The poor cousins are fighting to stay in this country because here there is hope to achieve the good life and to have opportunities, the very same opportunities that I, through my parents, have been freely given. And what does rich cousin do with this precious opportunity? He goes right back to the place that is “too hot” and “too poor” for anything to be good! What a dumbass!

The grass is always greener, Runger. It always is. Still I feel crazy trying awkwardly to explain myself to my relatives here when they ask me why I’m going. I know I’m supposed to be a witness for Christ and Gospel values but I sure suck at it. Hopefully what I am doing is not a slap in the face or a kick in the junk to them. Hopefully they don’t think I think any less of them for pursuing the American dream. Hopefully they can see that we’re all just chasing our joy wherever that may lead us.